As I was in this loving presence, two men appeared and stood one on either side of me.  They were young men and looked to be in their 20’s or early 30’s.  They were blond haired and blue eyed and wore what looked like cream colored linen clothing.  There was such a brilliant glow all around them; joy seemed to pour from every cell in their bodies.   I could see the detail of the tiny weave pattern of their soft, tightly woven linen clothing.  Why that seemed important, I do not know, but it stood out very clearly. Perhaps the weave represented the interconnection of everything.   At first I thought these men were angels but quickly realized who they were.  These two men were my younger brothers who had died as babies. I just knew they were my brothers from a raw understanding in my soul. Furthermore, they looked like our father, especially when they smiled.  We were so happy to see each other. It felt like a wonderful family reunion.  At the time, I couldn’t help but think how my dad would be so proud of them both.


 I felt at ease in the presence of my brothers as they walked with me from the clouds to a beautiful garden situated to the left of a huge glorious city. There was an old stone wall at the edge of the garden between me and the city. The wall looked like it was made of field stone, stacked one on top of the other, with pink roses growing up and over the wall. Although I didn’t go into the city, I could see a few distant details, including a large building with a golden dome and other buildings.  As I looked around the garden, I noticed that the colors were amazingly bright and vibrant and the air was sweet and clear.  I could hear birds singing and I heard water running, like there was a stream nearby but just out of sight.  There were immaculately-shaped trees and colorful flowers.  I felt a silken breeze and soft, cool grass touch my skin as I stood in this breathtaking place. All the while I sensed an all-encompassing presence pouring its infinite love out onto me.  I felt such joy and all I could do was stand in awe at the wonders all around me. I had an infused knowledge, or a simple ‘knowing’, that I had died and gone to heaven. I felt no fear, shock or dismay.  I was floating in love and acceptance.  It felt so good that I didn’t fight it.  I didn’t need to. It felt right.

Loving people began to gather around me as I progressed further into the garden. Although I knew who they were, I didn’t know from where I knew them.  I noticed all of these people were around the age of 35. Their skin was pink and healthy, maybe even glowing. Interestingly, they were wearing clothing from different time periods. Some of the women wore beautiful gowns while some of the men wore fancy suits.  Others wore contemporary clothes like jeans or lounge wear. It appeared to me that these people wore what they most felt comfortable in, perhaps reflecting the generation they were born to on earth.  Everyone was smiling and happy.  It felt very strange surrounded by so many beautiful people, yet at the same time pleasantly comfortable and familiar. It felt as if I had spent time with these people before.
Suddenly, I was shown the entirety of my life; everything I had ever said and done.  It was like watching a black and white movie on a reel.  It was clear that these people gathered around to offer support.  There was no feeling or judgment throughout the process.  It just ‘was’.  A huge loving presence stood behind me, pouring an overflowing love into me.   It was right then that I learned God does not judge us. Rather, we judge ourselves. We stand there before God in all of His glory and perfection while we watch our lives pass in front of us.  For me, all He did was love me throughout the review.  Not a word was said and the review of an entire lifetime was over in what seemed like a “blink of an eye”.  After the review, my first thoughts were “was that it? Seriously?  Oh my goodness!” I wasn’t quite sure what to think about my life, but it did seem a bit incomplete. I looked at my brothers and asked “is there going to be more?” they both looked at each other and broke out in these silly grins. You may know how some brothers are, they were just smiling mischievously.  I felt like they knew something I didn’t. And I was kind of hoping they would let me in on it. But they didn’t.   I was in absolute, total and complete awe at this point at the life review and everything that transpired since I died on my back steps.

 I definitely sensed a planned arrangement to the events taking place, like the ordering of steps or phases to a story. My brothers and the others who gathered were still with me when I heard a male voice say, “What you put out into the universe will come back to you”.  Now, that statement really gave me pause to ponder.   First I wondered where these thoughts were coming from. They didn’t come from me, for I had never thought about things like this before.  It seemed that I had received an infusion of divine thoughts, like some form of telepathic message from God. An explanation followed. I knew that the message meant ‘good choices reap good consequences whereas bad choices reap bad consequences.’ Meaning,   when we put out love, love comes back.  If we put out hate, hate comes back, if we put out stealing, and cheating, then these too will come back to us.   Things may come back in a different way, but it will still come back eventually. In a sense, what we do to others we do to ourselves.  One never knows from which direction consequences are going to come from or when.  The things we think, say and do go out into the universe, gain momentum, spin, get bigger, and then come back to us like a boomerang. I don’t know about you, but I’m not so sure I want to be hit in the head with a boomerang! I believe that the opposite of love is selfishness, not hate.  Hate is born out of selfishness.   I believe our world is in a very bad way today because of our collective selfishness.   It also made me think that our words do have tremendous power.   To be responsible in using this power, we should fill our lives with positive thoughts, prayer, beauty, and joy.  Most importantly, the words that we speak are words that should build up everyone’s souls, including our own. When we are mindful of our thoughts, we can change the course of events by simply changing our thoughts.  In other words, we fill our souls with the lives we choose. We fill our souls with those things we fill our lives with. And what we allow into our souls, comes back out into the universe.

 As I stood there in the garden I noticed again how beautiful and brilliant the colors were of the flowers, trees and grass.  The reds were more red, pinks more pink, and yellows more yellow.  They were more vibrant than any colors I had ever seen on earth.  The air was sweetly fragrant, clean and clear. The sky was a gorgeous blue, like a perfect summer day. Although it seemed like mid-day, I did not see the sun. I did see a bright orb that reminded me of the sun, but this beautiful white glowing light seemed to radiate from every direction. Somehow I knew within the deepest part of my soul that the light was coming from the heart of God. I was absolutely awestruck by the amazing beauty, intricacy and details of everything around me.  I could hear birds singing in the trees. I saw a stream where the water glistened like diamonds in the sun as it flowed over the rocks.  I heard music more beautiful than anything I had ever heard before.  It was then that I noticed that everything in heaven had its own pitch and sound.  The trees had a sound whereas the leaves on the trees had their own unique vibration.  The grass also had a sound, as did the rocks, water and so on. When you combined all of those individual sounds the entirety sounded like the most magnificent symphony ever created. But this was no ordinary symphony! I knew that all of Heaven was singing praises to God.  Its beauty just poured out of every leaf, rock, blade of grass, and every bird. In that moment I felt a peace and joy beyond all comprehension.

There seemed to be no time in Heaven, so I have no idea how long it took for each different step of this journey.  On one hand, it seemed like everything happened so fast while, on the other hand, it seemed that time stood still.  I began to feel as if I was attached to a giant ‘IV bottle of knowledge’.  Strangely, I was being fed all this information, and I didn’t even have the words to ask the proper questions. Joyfully, I received one“Aha” moment after another. I had been given the answers to all the questions of the universe. It felt like God was showing me how everything worked at the deepest level; it seemed so simple and logical.  I remember at one point saying with a huge smile “Wow, is that all there is to it? That is so cool. God, you are so awesome! We humans make everything so complicated and it’s really so simple.”

Following the download of information, God moved His loving and accepting light in front of me. Meanwhile, I found myself examining the front of my body.  I could see that I still had the same form as I did on earth.  I sported the same long blond hair falling down below my shoulders.  I could see my jean shorts and my feet.  But I also noticed that my body felt much lighter, it felt kind of “floaty”.  On earth we are weighted down with gravity.  In heaven there is no gravity.  Not only did I have a weightless body, but it was also illuminated.  I was glowing like everything else in heaven.  I knew that my physical body was a bit of an illusion.  In reality, I was made from God’s loving energy.  So the physical body did not really matter. Thus, I was no longer concerned about my body, how it looked, or whether I fit in or not.  I did not need to judge myself before a God of total love and acceptance.

I was amazed to see Jesus walking out of a grove of trees into the garden. I recognized Jesus as the Son of God by a deep soul knowing. There was a resemblance from certain church pictures I had seen with His dark wavy hair falling down his back, olive-colored skin and warm dark-brown eyes. Most impactful for me was His smile that melted my heart.  Jesus walked forward and began talking to me.  He told me that He loved me and had walked beside me every day of my life.  He told me He would never leave my side, not ever.  He then told me not to be afraid.  I just stared at Him speechless.  He was so beautiful.  To be honest, I was absolutely overwhelmed .I had always had such a deep love for Jesus ever since I was a little girl and now, I was standing with Him.  I just stood there with my mouth hanging open as He professed His love for me. At that point, I no longer saw my brothers. There were still a lot of people around but my attention was solely on Jesus.   

 After Jesus spoke, He escorted me to the edge of the garden to a wooded glen.  I watched golden sunbeams pour through the branches of the tall oak and pine trees. Under the towering branches, I noticed a log lying next to a stream with little flowers dotting the lush grass.  There were even pine needles and a few pine cones scattered about.  I went over to the log and sat down to listen to the water as it danced across the rocks. The air was cool and comfortable and I could hear the birds singing their sweet songs. I felt a soft silken breeze envelope me, like arms holding me, caressing me and peace filled my soul. This wasn’t just any ordinary breeze; I knew that the essence of this gentle wind was the Holy Spirit.

As I sat down, I looked up and I saw a man sitting on the other end of the log next to me.  I knew the man was God the Father. How I knew this I’m not sure. Maybe the knowledge came from an absolute knowing deep in the core of all that I was.  In my experience, God had shoulder- length, dark, curly hair, a neatly cut beard, sparkling blue eyes, and a happy smile.  He looked to be about six feet tall.  He wore a white robe and sandals. God, the consciousness of all, knew exactly the perfect way to appear to me so that I felt comfortable in His infinite presence. Specifically, He appeared to me as an easily approachable man that I could trust without fear. We sat on the log together for the longest time just talking and laughing.  He became silent for a moment and then turned to face me.   Looking into my eyes, He asked in a quiet, gentle voice, “What would you do if it were just you and me?”

I looked at God, not having a clue what He meant, and asked, “What do you mean?”

God smiled and was patient, like a father with a young child.  He asked me again, “What would you do if it were just you and me?”

 I looked down at my hands in my lap, thought for a minute, and again inquired,” I don’t know what you mean?”  God was still smiling and very patiently said “imagine if there were no parents, no children, no husband, and no friends, there is just you and me, no one else”. Feeling somewhat intimidated and unworthy, I looked into His beautiful face, shook my head and stuttered, “No, I would drive you crazy after the first ten minutes with all my questions and chatter. Then you would not like me very much if it was just you and me.”  He just smiled at me with complete loving patience.  He was so gentle with me that my feelings of unworthiness started to disappear.  God then stood up and motioned for me to follow.  We walked a short distance to the edge of the glen. Like opening a zipper in the sky, He showed me the whole universe with no one in it.  There were no people, no buildings, no cars, no animals, and no trees.  There was nothing but swirling, rainbow colored gases, sparkling diamond stars, and spinning planets. The entire panorama looked like a huge rainbow that stretched across the black velvet sky.  It was breathtakingly beautiful, and so huge.  I never realized how big the universe really was compared to our small world.  Suddenly, we were back again sitting on the log by the stream.  God asked me once again, “What would you do if it were just you and me?”  Again I was at a loss for the right words to properly answer His question.  Meanwhile, I found myself looking at a very large oak tree in front of me.  I saw the details of the trunk, such as the little life-giving veins in the tender leaves and the roots beneath the ground.  What I saw was not just a tree, but the individual parts that made up the whole tree.  I also saw how important all these parts were to the life of the tree.  Expanding my view, I also recognized how important the tree was to the environment around the tree. Expanding my view even further, I could see how all things are connected to each other and that every part was important to the whole of creation. I studied these interconnections for a few minutes, and sensed that my noticing this was exactly what God had planned from the beginning. Then I answered God by quoting the Koran.   Now, I have no idea why I would have answered Him in this manner since I have never read the Koran in my life. But I said, “God, your hundredth name is “God is everywhere, God is nowhere and God is in me” He said “Yes, that is right, it is, and…?”

 I looked at the tree again then back at Him and said, “God, You made this tree, You are in this tree, so when I look at this tree I see You”.  God looked at me, smiling that beautiful smile again and He said “yes, and…?”

I started to think about my parents and I added “God, You made my parents; You are in my parents, so when I see my parents I see You.” Again He said, “Yes and…?”

“God, You made my husband, You are in my husband, so when I see my husband I see You.”  He smiled and said “Yes and…?”

 God was trying to get me to think further, so I began thinking that there are people in this world who are cruel, even those who have hurt me. So I said “God, There are some people who I don’t really care for because they hurt others, but you made these people, you are in these people, so when I see these people, I see you.”

God smiled at me again and He said “Yes, that is right.  Now, I have a question for you.  When you look in the mirror, what do you see?”

 I looked down again at my hands and I thought for a moment. My normal response would have been something like, “I see me. I’m no one special.  It’s just me.”  Yet, I felt that that just wasn’t an acceptable answer one gives to God.  After all, the Creator of all things deserves a respectful and truthful answer. As I gazed into His beautiful eyes my feelings of inadequacy melted away because of the deep love I saw in their infinite depths.  Then, I said “God, You made me, you are in me, so when I look in the mirror, I see you.”

God replied “Yes, that is right.” He seemed so happy and was smiling from ear to ear.  I could feel His joy and His deep love surrounding me.  I was completely immersed in His love as He looked at me.  To me this was so important.  I could feel the hugeness of the revelation God just taught me; I could feel it spinning in my heart and in my mind.

The lesson God taught me has been difficult for me to accept. Although, I can easily see the beauty of God in others, it is much more difficult to see God’s beauty in myself.  I find, even now, I have to remind myself that I am special and that I am beautiful. I have to remind myself that God doesn’t make mistakes or create junk.  Instead, He loves me and sees me with perfect love even though I am an imperfect being.  Indeed, God’s perfect love makes my soul shine so beautifully. In other words, I am perfect in my imperfections.  I had struggled with low self- esteem for so many years due to other people’s criticisms.  Buying into their way of thinking brought me down to a place where I could not serve God properly.  What I had to learn was that real beauty shines from deep within the soul. In this manner, God shines through all of our cracks.  External beauty fades with time, but real beauty comes from inside and never fades.  It is internal and eternal.  I had to learn that my worth as a human being has to come from inside my own heart. To God I am perfect being just me.  What I have to do is be happy with myself, find Joy in my life, and see His beauty deep within myself.

While sitting with God in this magnificent garden, I watched Him pick up a stick and draw little pictures in the dirt. The pictures looked like symbols but their meaning was unknown to me. At some point during our conversation, I looked into His beautiful, crystal blue eyes and I could see His soul for just one precious moment. What I discovered there was holiness and purity, the likes of which I had never seen before.  In His eyes I saw eternity revealed.  In this short moment I felt as if my spirit was flying freely. Without the impurities of a disconnected life, there were no fortress walls of my own making to hold me back.  In that moment we were unified; I felt completely One with Him in love beyond all human understanding. I felt an incredible freedom and peace as His love enveloped every fiber of my being. The conversation we were having stopped as we gazed into each other’s eyes.  We were wrapped within the silken threads of this precious moment as time stood still for what seemed like eternity. Then, suddenly, for some reason, I pulled my eyes away and looked down at my hands. He just smiled with that beautiful, fatherly smile and He too looked away, going back to doodling in the dirt with the stick that He used for drawing.  We continued talking for quite a while and I felt His love surround me so completely and deeply. It was if I was the only one He ever created. And then I realized that no matter how huge the universe may be and how tiny I am in the grand scheme of things, I am a very important part of everything God created. Meaning, I have eternal worth because I am connected and interwoven with everything like the golden threads of a tapestry. What God taught me was every single thing He created is an extension of His love.  God didn’t create us to serve Him. On the contrary, He serves us so that we can learn to serve others in love with Him.

To be allowed to see God so deeply was a huge gift even though it had seemed to have lasted but a brief moment. It was in that brief moment that God had taught me how to trust Him. Although I had always loved God placing trust in Him was frightening. To me, trust meant becoming vulnerable and vulnerability usually resulted in me getting hurt. If people would hurt me, I reasoned, why wouldn’t God?   To be honest, I had learned the hard way through various relationships not to trust anyone. The world had taught me over the years of my adult life that I had to build a fortress around my heart to remain safe. But in this one moment God demonstrated that I could trust that He would never leave me.  His ever- present love created a gaping hole in my defenses and those fortress walls tumbled down. I allowed God to come beyond the barriers I had placed around my heart. Trusting God allows me to love Him more fully.  Loving God more fully enables me to love others with a more open heart and with unconditional love.

At last, God and I finished our conversation. We proceeded to walk through the forest where we were joined by two beautiful ornately -gowned women. They led me to a serene lake at the end of the wooded area. I instinctively knew that the two women were angels.  To my surprise, they began showing moving pictures of future events on earth. I am honestly a bit confused by all the mixed feelings I experienced as I watched these troubling events unfold.  I still felt wrapped within Gods loving embrace so I was able to endure these revelations with a certain amount of non- attachment. Perhaps my detachment stemmed from underlying shock, horror, and disbelief of what I was watching. It all seemed surreal. I was aware that the angels showed me these world events for informational purposes. I don’t know why, as they didn’t say as far as I can remember.   

What was shown to me were horrific events that stemmed from or were a result of the 911 attacks that have led to other terrorist attacks against our country and throughout the world.  Specifically, they also showed me people being killed by bombings and shootings. I witnessed our financial institutions crumbling.   In the end, our money was not worth the paper it was written on. In money’s place, I was shown silver and gold coins being used to make purchases.  They also said that in time we would return to the barter system, as we had done long ago. They also showed me many natural disasters, such as earthquakes, volcanoes, tornadoes, and storms.   Then I saw six huge waves of water covering the land.  I witnessed a woman and a little boy in a car being swept off the road because of flood waters.   As her car was being immersed, I saw God sent angels in the form of people pull the woman and child out of the water. The boy had already died but was revived.  The mother would go on to promote a series of spiritual videos.  Next, they revealed how corrupt governments will become and their central role in destroying peace in our world. They were so poisoned that I saw dark clouds surrounding their capitols.  In response to the corruption, I witnessed coups and rioting. I witnessed governments in different countries being over thrown and huge riots taking place in the streets. They showed me one particular riot where a man; threw something through a store front window while a nearby building burned. I also heard the sound of gunshots, and saw a man lying dead in the street.  On a positive note, they revealed small pockets of light where loving people huddled in places called “safe havens.”   These safe havens are mostly in mountainous regions. The very last thing they showed me was a ‘silver ribbon’ splitting the United States apart.  I was told that this ‘ribbon’ was a river.  I felt that it was the Mississippi River, but they gave me no explanation as to the meaning of this ‘ribbon’ other than that the ribbon becomes larger over time. With increased flooding in the Midwest, I wonder if we are now seeing seeds of events to come.

I was surprised by the angel’s revelations. I have been even more surprised and shocked when some of these events have come to pass. Sometimes I wonder what I am to do with this information other than to pray. Perhaps my experience at the lake can serve as a warning to humanity. Perhaps God was showing me that He is the Creator of the universe and all life flows from Him. He is love and love emanates from Him. All that He created is right and good and all things are connected to God and exist in harmony with Him. When we as human beings step out of His order of doing things, when we act out of selfishness instead of love, harmony ceases to exist, and then chaos and destruction ensue throughout the world, then we are to blame, not God.  God wants us to depend on Him as the ultimate source for our life and existence. Because of His great love for us, God gives us the gift of free-will. Perhaps God was showing that it’s not too late to stop this horrible course of events. But it is up to us to either choose to follow God’s direction or choose to follow our worldly, selfish ways.

What an amazing contrast between the dire visions I saw of earth in the lack and the splendor of heaven. As briefly mentioned, I saw a magnificent city in Heaven that had been built beyond the garden wall. As I walked through garden I saw some of the many buildings that were on the outskirts of this glorious city.  Some of the buildings looked to be made out of the finest marble with tall columns gracing each building. I understood that there were buildings that served a purpose for everything one could possibly imagine.  There were magnificent healing buildings with glorious pools of healing water used for soul healing for those who had a traumatic death. Each building is attended by angels and others who are specifically trained to help souls in need. There are even special areas where small children and babies go. There, they are attended to by angels and other loved ones who are specifically trained to care for them and help them grow spiritually.

 I also discovered grand halls of learning and exquisite libraries containing “books” on every possible subject. The halls of learning are not schools of science like we have here on earth but schools designed for spiritual growth.  People attending the halls of learning have mentors and teachers to guide them during their spiritual quest.  

There are huge, lavish banquet halls with exquisite tables heavily laden with the finest meats, cheeses, breads, and fruits.  Food is not needed to sustain life in Heaven; it is manifested strictly for enjoyment.  One particular banquet hall that I saw was very large and extravagantly decorated. On rich mahogany walls hung breathtaking paintings set in heavy, ornate frames. The marble floor, polished to a glass like shine, was covered with a gorgeous pink area rug. A huge crystal chandelier hung from the ceiling. A magnificent piano sat in the corner and was adorned with a crystal vase full of roses a huge candelabra made of gold. There were many people in the room all dressed in their finest clothes. Women dressed in beautiful gowns of every color with matching jewels that glittered in the light. The men wore dress suites or tuxes while a butler holding a silver tray passed around long stemmed crystal Champaign glasses. I noticed on the other side of the room, there was a table dressed in white linens and lavishly decorated with gorgeous flowers of every color in the rainbow and huge golden candelabras. The people were all smiling and talking, while some were dancing and singing to the music of the piano. It was quite festive. I don’t know what the occasion was but it definitely was a celebration.  I was struck by how earth-like everything appeared. Perhaps God allowed souls to mindfully create, or manifest, such places to help them find connection with familiar life experiences on earth. But behind every manifested object was the energy of God. In this way, it was truly the energy of love that created all things. It was love that was ultimately important, not as much the things the spiritual beings created.  Beyond the city walls I saw fertile rural areas. There are many diverse areas such as grass lands, rolling hills and prairies where our beloved animals are free to roam, including our beloved pets. They too enter heaven and are there waiting for us!  As I looked around further, I noticed there were several houses or dwellings. Some were larger than others.  One house was nestled among the trees on a grassy hillside with lush flower gardens sitting in behind the house. The house looked to be made of stone that changed color with the rays of the sun.  Another house, made of crystal sat on a bluff overlooking what appeared to be an ocean.  Each house seemed to be as unique as the individual who inhabits the house.  We create what we want in heaven provided it does not violate the loving will of God.

 In sum, I became aware that Heaven is a very busy place. There isn’t time to sit around under trees eating bon bons as some may think.  Rather, Heaven is an active realm with so much to do and see. Also, there is spiritual work to be done. In this manner, I noticed that people have different jobs. They were not jobs as we know them on earth but rather, jobs that help everyone further their soul’s growth toward the divine.

After visiting with the beautiful angels, I was sent back to my body on earth. I don’t remember being given a choice. I could feel an incredible pain radiate from my right arm into my chest as my spirit entered my body. I was momentarily confused before I fully realized that I was lying on the ground in my back yard, right next to the steps where the lightning had hit me.  I could see the phone knocked out of my hand lying on the opposite side of the patio.  It was all burnt and black.  I also saw the black char marks on the stairs where I had been sitting not long before.  I was absolutely stunned by all the events that had just taken place while talking with God in heaven.  I knew my life had changed in profound ways.

 It was hard for me to move because of the pain.  I was shaking, sweating, and nauseous. I could barely breathe.  I have no idea how long I laid there.  I tried calling out, but no one came to help. It took every ounce of strength I had to move myself into the house.  I found my husband and told him what had happened.  I had showed him the char marks on the concrete steps and told him of the pain I was in. To my shock, he didn’t care and refused to take me to the hospital.  My husband dismissively replied, “I don’t want to sit there waiting all evening.”   Consequently, I wasn’t able to go to the hospital that night and remained disoriented, confused and in a great deal of pain from where the lightning struck my arm.   I wasn’t able to see my family doctor until a few days later.  Medical tests by a cardiologist later indicated that I had suffered some minor damage to my heart as a result of the strike.  I now have a condition called a Right Bundle Branch Block, which is an electrical glitch in my heart.  The cardiologist told me that he had never seen anything like it before and that I was lucky to be alive.   He also conducted some neurological testing to make sure everything else was working properly.  Nothing else of concern was found, thank God!
After the pain in my arm subsided, I felt better than I had ever felt in all of my life. I had so much more energy than before I was hit by the lightening. One of the things I remember was I went eleven days without sleeping.  Furthermore, I felt blissfully happy.  That was something new for me; I felt so alive!   Not only did I feel vibrant, but I could see the life force glowing from every living thing.  I felt so connected with all of creation in oneness. I was totally in love with God, everything and everyone.  I felt like I was floating in a pink bubble that could never burst.  That's what I called it to myself because everything seemed to radiate with a pinkish glow. Amazingly, my new state gave me many heightened, extra-sensory abilities, and many other new and very different life changing affects.